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Girls in Sports: Beyond the Scoreboard
By: Doug Borsch
Brooke K., 17, rises early in the San Francisco predawn and heads for the courts, a bag of incredibly expensive racquets slung over her shoulder, for the first of three or four hours of practice. Before school.
In Pittsburgh, Amanda T., also 17, wakes to the shriek of the alarm. Bleary-eyed, she remembers track practice and her friends, and the goal of getting in shape, and that's (barely) enough to drag her from bed.
A star athlete and a social player. They may seem worlds apart, but are they?
Benefits of Girls in Sports
The research is clear: girls get great dividends from being involved in sports, whether it's for competitive or social reasons. According to Dr. Theresa Rohr-Kirchgraber, a specialist in adolescent medicine at Emory University School of Medicine, teens involved in sports:
• Engage in sexual activity later than their non-sports peers, which decreases risk of HIV and other
sexually transmitted diseases and lowers rates of early pregnancy
• Reduce their risk of obesity and type II diabetes
• Perform better academically
• Experience lower rates of depression and anxiety
Compelling stuff. So sign her up, right? Hold on. If you're a typical parent, you may be about to make your first mistake.
Enjoyment is as Worthwhile as Competition
"My dad was a tennis pro," says Brooke. " And recently I decided not to pursue [the game] beyond high school. It was really hard for him to accept, because he'd gone so far with it. It took time, but he supported my decision."
She's lucky. "Parents have a tendency to make sports about themselves rather than their kids," says Leif Smith, Psy.D, a sports psychologist and president of Personal Best Consulting. It's an approach that can put pressure on a teen and prompt her to participate for all the wrong reasons.
A healthier attitude is to focus on the benefits of simply participating in a sport for the enjoyment and stimulation, and to let your child's enthusiasm guide your own. Sports offer social contact and the chance for personal self-improvement. "I like getting in shape," says Amanda, "and my friends are on the team, too."
Dr. Rohr-Kirchgraber says there are ways to raise a kid with a healthy attitude toward sports:
• Determine expectations. If your daughter's reasons for joining are social, focus on the social. If
she is intensely focused on winning, focus on her own expectations for her accomplishments.
• Set a cooling-off period. After a game, ask how she thinks she played rather than give your
critique.
• Create a positive world, with realism. Not every kid is the next Sheryl Swoopes. "I'm not going to
tell my 11-year-old that she can't play for the WNBA," says Rohr-Kirchgraber. "But I should not tell
her there's no question she'll make it."
• Remember who is competing. Hint: it's not you.
A Realtiy Check
Remember, 99% of us are not professional players-so don't put pressure on your child to act like a pro. Sports are fun and offer the opportunity to learn teamwork, discipline, and to get fit as well. Who could ask for more?
She didn't make the team. Now what?
• Talk about ways that sports teach us how to excel and deal with fear and rejection.
• Reward effort over the end result. It's enough to have tried, which takes great courage.
• Set an example. If you're a weekend volleyball player, show how much you love it.
• Find another outlet. Teens have plenty of other ways to create the same opportunities for social
and personal accomplishment.
• Don't take it too seriously, and above all, make sure she knows your love is unconditional and not
dependent on her accomplishments in sports.
An Interview With Fran Harris
Fran Harris won the WNBA championship with the Houston Comets in 1997, and is now an author and speaker. Here is her advice for teens-and parents of teens-who excel in a sport.
PTO: What made the biggest difference for you as it became obvious you were so talented?
FH: I had the support of my family, but I didn't have pressure. That's ideal. But it's unusual. Parents have so many expectations.
PTO: How can parents encourage a dedicated teen athlete?
FH: Where does that dedication come from? Is it inside of her because she loves the sport? If so, great. Nurture it. But if it's driven by parents living vicariously, then it's for the wrong reason. Second, parents tend to focus on the stat sheet. When things go wrong, we say, "you just have to work harder." That's not real communication. There are a lot of things going on for a girl in sports that aren't on the stat sheet. Once you have great communication you can talk openly about performance.
PTO: Do girls face different pressures than boys?
FH: Parents have to be sure their daughter doesn't tie her self-worth to this one thing in her life. Who she is is not connected to how many points she scores, or whether she makes the team. Part of being an athlete-female or male-is winning and losing. It's how we deal with it that makes all the difference.
Previously published by ParentingTeensOnline.com
By: Doug Borsch
Brooke K., 17, rises early in the San Francisco predawn and heads for the courts, a bag of incredibly expensive racquets slung over her shoulder, for the first of three or four hours of practice. Before school.
In Pittsburgh, Amanda T., also 17, wakes to the shriek of the alarm. Bleary-eyed, she remembers track practice and her friends, and the goal of getting in shape, and that's (barely) enough to drag her from bed.
A star athlete and a social player. They may seem worlds apart, but are they?
Benefits of Girls in Sports
The research is clear: girls get great dividends from being involved in sports, whether it's for competitive or social reasons. According to Dr. Theresa Rohr-Kirchgraber, a specialist in adolescent medicine at Emory University School of Medicine, teens involved in sports:
• Engage in sexual activity later than their non-sports peers, which decreases risk of HIV and other
sexually transmitted diseases and lowers rates of early pregnancy
• Reduce their risk of obesity and type II diabetes
• Perform better academically
• Experience lower rates of depression and anxiety
Compelling stuff. So sign her up, right? Hold on. If you're a typical parent, you may be about to make your first mistake.
Enjoyment is as Worthwhile as Competition
"My dad was a tennis pro," says Brooke. " And recently I decided not to pursue [the game] beyond high school. It was really hard for him to accept, because he'd gone so far with it. It took time, but he supported my decision."
She's lucky. "Parents have a tendency to make sports about themselves rather than their kids," says Leif Smith, Psy.D, a sports psychologist and president of Personal Best Consulting. It's an approach that can put pressure on a teen and prompt her to participate for all the wrong reasons.
A healthier attitude is to focus on the benefits of simply participating in a sport for the enjoyment and stimulation, and to let your child's enthusiasm guide your own. Sports offer social contact and the chance for personal self-improvement. "I like getting in shape," says Amanda, "and my friends are on the team, too."
Dr. Rohr-Kirchgraber says there are ways to raise a kid with a healthy attitude toward sports:
• Determine expectations. If your daughter's reasons for joining are social, focus on the social. If
she is intensely focused on winning, focus on her own expectations for her accomplishments.
• Set a cooling-off period. After a game, ask how she thinks she played rather than give your
critique.
• Create a positive world, with realism. Not every kid is the next Sheryl Swoopes. "I'm not going to
tell my 11-year-old that she can't play for the WNBA," says Rohr-Kirchgraber. "But I should not tell
her there's no question she'll make it."
• Remember who is competing. Hint: it's not you.
A Realtiy Check
Remember, 99% of us are not professional players-so don't put pressure on your child to act like a pro. Sports are fun and offer the opportunity to learn teamwork, discipline, and to get fit as well. Who could ask for more?
She didn't make the team. Now what?
• Talk about ways that sports teach us how to excel and deal with fear and rejection.
• Reward effort over the end result. It's enough to have tried, which takes great courage.
• Set an example. If you're a weekend volleyball player, show how much you love it.
• Find another outlet. Teens have plenty of other ways to create the same opportunities for social
and personal accomplishment.
• Don't take it too seriously, and above all, make sure she knows your love is unconditional and not
dependent on her accomplishments in sports.
An Interview With Fran Harris
Fran Harris won the WNBA championship with the Houston Comets in 1997, and is now an author and speaker. Here is her advice for teens-and parents of teens-who excel in a sport.
PTO: What made the biggest difference for you as it became obvious you were so talented?
FH: I had the support of my family, but I didn't have pressure. That's ideal. But it's unusual. Parents have so many expectations.
PTO: How can parents encourage a dedicated teen athlete?
FH: Where does that dedication come from? Is it inside of her because she loves the sport? If so, great. Nurture it. But if it's driven by parents living vicariously, then it's for the wrong reason. Second, parents tend to focus on the stat sheet. When things go wrong, we say, "you just have to work harder." That's not real communication. There are a lot of things going on for a girl in sports that aren't on the stat sheet. Once you have great communication you can talk openly about performance.
PTO: Do girls face different pressures than boys?
FH: Parents have to be sure their daughter doesn't tie her self-worth to this one thing in her life. Who she is is not connected to how many points she scores, or whether she makes the team. Part of being an athlete-female or male-is winning and losing. It's how we deal with it that makes all the difference.
Previously published by ParentingTeensOnline.com
Copyright © 2007 Family Matters Radio. All Rights Reserved.
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