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Developing Financial Goals
Announcer: Your Worth is brought to you by GenWorth Financial. Visit them at genworth.com.
Caroline Kruse: You're listening to Family Matters Radio with Caroline and Jacquie. I'm Caroline.
Jacquie Chakrelis: And I'm Jacquie. So, Caroline, I've got a question for you. Do you and your husband ever argue about money?
Caroline: Money and kids. Those two are at the top of the list. But I know we're not alone, because they say that money is the number one cause of divorce.
Jacquie: Although, according to studies and surveys, money per se isn't the problem, the problem -- or what ultimately drives people apart -- is that couples can't handle the conflict that arises around money. And I know this all too well.
Caroline: Well, then what do you do if you want to end the conflict and still achieve financial success? Joining us with some answers is Jenifer Madson, a nationally renowned financial success coach, author of the award-winning best seller, "A Financial Minute", and creator of the coaching game that is sweeping the nation, "Let's Talk Money".
Jenifer, welcome to Family Matters.
Jenifer Madson: Thank you so much for having me.
Caroline: So nice to have you join us. So, step one would be to create a financial plan, but where do you start?
Jenifer: When it comes to couples, I think that the top principle for making love and money last is to first decide that you stand for being happily together over everything else. So if you have that in mind as a couple, then I believe a great plan comes from first taking the money out of the equation, decide what you really, really want for your lives together, then put the money back in to see what gap exists between the two. And then you can look for the right resources to help you close that gap.
Caroline: What do you think you should consider when you're developing those financial goals as a couple?
Jenifer: I think there's the kind of basic thing that says, you know, short-term, mid-term, long-term goals as it concerns maybe children and education. I think what I find more than anything is that people tend to leave out two major categories of their planning, which is savings -- and savings can be the long-term or the short-term -- but the sense of security that they want from that.
And also rest. Really making sure that there's a plan for rejuvenation, and that doesn't have to be an expensive vacation, but it does need to include some time off as a couple, as a family. So that you can keep going through all the rest of the stuff.
Caroline: Well, let's talk about saving or investing. How do you know how and where to invest your money and your time?
Jenifer: Well, I think that our time and our money need to go into things that really matter to us, whether we're talking about investing time and money into our own business, our family, or the more traditional sense of investment, like in a mutual fund or stocks, that sort of thing.
What's most important, wherever we invest, is that we be systematic. Systematic about how we show up for the investment, our attitude about it, our attention to it, paying attention to how it's doing, and doing that very consistently instead of a hit-or-miss "hope" strategy.
Jacquie: Well, of course, a lot of this has to do with our spending behaviors and, as we mentioned, our financial goals. But where are some ways to start the research so that you know what information to gather?
Jenifer: First of all, I think that we're a nation hugely accustomed to getting our needs met by way of our wallets. We spend money to feel better. I think what families have to do first is take a look at their spending behaviors and how much money may be getting spent on recreation and feeling good.
If you can develop strategies for getting your emotional, your mental, your physical needs met without a lot of money, you can free up finances to take into your financial plans for education, retirement, building of your life, if you will. So you start your research at home. Identify what those short-term and mid-term and long-term goals are, the ones you're really committed to achieving.
And I think also acknowledge what risks you think that you can stand along the way. I promise, as a former financial planner, when people came to me with really solid information about what they wanted for their lives, it felt like we were in a partnership instead of me being their financial parent.
Caroline: But, Jenifer, what do you do if your partner, your spouse, has another plan in mind?
Jenifer: Well, that's pretty tricky. I think that you have to first have a really honest conversation about what you do stand for as a couple, above everything else. As you said at the top of the conversation, it's not money per se that causes problems; it's the ability to handle conflict in those problems.
And so, frankly, if you're not able to have a really direct conversation with each other about what means the most to you as a couple first, then it's probably going to fall apart at some point along the way. But if you can make that decision, then you set the stage for productive conversation, by coming with a willing and curious and open attitude, and start talking and move into the things that you really need to accomplish together.
Jacquie: So give us some tips on how to have that honest conversation about money. I have a friend who says her and her husband only fight on the days that they have to pay the bills together.
Jenifer: Well, yeah, I think that it's a real talent to get together on the same page. You start by agreeing to make things right without making each other wrong. It's one of the principles in the program I have for couples, because we have to put the principle of what we're trying to accomplish ahead of the personalities and who might be doing things wrong.
If you can agree together as a couple on the principle of what you want, then you can go decide who's the best person to accomplish it or how you share those responsibilities. I think couples really to want to be together and stay together, but you've got to take all of that negative charge out of it, so you can look at what is, and then make agreements together on how to improve it.
Jacquie: And that's the really the best starting point for you and your partner or your spouse, to get on the same page when it comes to money.
Jenifer: Absolutely. I think, again, principle number one is that you agree that, as a couple, you stand for being happily together over everything else. That that matters to you most. And that number two, you will go about making things right financially, without making each other wrong in the process.
Caroline: Well, Jenifer, thank you so much for joining us with this information. It's always great news to hear that you can find a solution, right?
Jenifer: You certainly can.
Caroline: And if you want more information on financial planning or investing, you can visit our website at familymattersradio.com.
Announcer: Your Worth has been brought to you by Genworth Financial. Visit them at Genworth.com.
Announcer: Your Worth is brought to you by GenWorth Financial. Visit them at genworth.com.
Caroline Kruse: You're listening to Family Matters Radio with Caroline and Jacquie. I'm Caroline.
Jacquie Chakrelis: And I'm Jacquie. So, Caroline, I've got a question for you. Do you and your husband ever argue about money?
Caroline: Money and kids. Those two are at the top of the list. But I know we're not alone, because they say that money is the number one cause of divorce.
Jacquie: Although, according to studies and surveys, money per se isn't the problem, the problem -- or what ultimately drives people apart -- is that couples can't handle the conflict that arises around money. And I know this all too well.
Caroline: Well, then what do you do if you want to end the conflict and still achieve financial success? Joining us with some answers is Jenifer Madson, a nationally renowned financial success coach, author of the award-winning best seller, "A Financial Minute", and creator of the coaching game that is sweeping the nation, "Let's Talk Money".
Jenifer, welcome to Family Matters.
Jenifer Madson: Thank you so much for having me.
Caroline: So nice to have you join us. So, step one would be to create a financial plan, but where do you start?
Jenifer: When it comes to couples, I think that the top principle for making love and money last is to first decide that you stand for being happily together over everything else. So if you have that in mind as a couple, then I believe a great plan comes from first taking the money out of the equation, decide what you really, really want for your lives together, then put the money back in to see what gap exists between the two. And then you can look for the right resources to help you close that gap.
Caroline: What do you think you should consider when you're developing those financial goals as a couple?
Jenifer: I think there's the kind of basic thing that says, you know, short-term, mid-term, long-term goals as it concerns maybe children and education. I think what I find more than anything is that people tend to leave out two major categories of their planning, which is savings -- and savings can be the long-term or the short-term -- but the sense of security that they want from that.
And also rest. Really making sure that there's a plan for rejuvenation, and that doesn't have to be an expensive vacation, but it does need to include some time off as a couple, as a family. So that you can keep going through all the rest of the stuff.
Caroline: Well, let's talk about saving or investing. How do you know how and where to invest your money and your time?
Jenifer: Well, I think that our time and our money need to go into things that really matter to us, whether we're talking about investing time and money into our own business, our family, or the more traditional sense of investment, like in a mutual fund or stocks, that sort of thing.
What's most important, wherever we invest, is that we be systematic. Systematic about how we show up for the investment, our attitude about it, our attention to it, paying attention to how it's doing, and doing that very consistently instead of a hit-or-miss "hope" strategy.
Jacquie: Well, of course, a lot of this has to do with our spending behaviors and, as we mentioned, our financial goals. But where are some ways to start the research so that you know what information to gather?
Jenifer: First of all, I think that we're a nation hugely accustomed to getting our needs met by way of our wallets. We spend money to feel better. I think what families have to do first is take a look at their spending behaviors and how much money may be getting spent on recreation and feeling good.
If you can develop strategies for getting your emotional, your mental, your physical needs met without a lot of money, you can free up finances to take into your financial plans for education, retirement, building of your life, if you will. So you start your research at home. Identify what those short-term and mid-term and long-term goals are, the ones you're really committed to achieving.
And I think also acknowledge what risks you think that you can stand along the way. I promise, as a former financial planner, when people came to me with really solid information about what they wanted for their lives, it felt like we were in a partnership instead of me being their financial parent.
Caroline: But, Jenifer, what do you do if your partner, your spouse, has another plan in mind?
Jenifer: Well, that's pretty tricky. I think that you have to first have a really honest conversation about what you do stand for as a couple, above everything else. As you said at the top of the conversation, it's not money per se that causes problems; it's the ability to handle conflict in those problems.
And so, frankly, if you're not able to have a really direct conversation with each other about what means the most to you as a couple first, then it's probably going to fall apart at some point along the way. But if you can make that decision, then you set the stage for productive conversation, by coming with a willing and curious and open attitude, and start talking and move into the things that you really need to accomplish together.
Jacquie: So give us some tips on how to have that honest conversation about money. I have a friend who says her and her husband only fight on the days that they have to pay the bills together.
Jenifer: Well, yeah, I think that it's a real talent to get together on the same page. You start by agreeing to make things right without making each other wrong. It's one of the principles in the program I have for couples, because we have to put the principle of what we're trying to accomplish ahead of the personalities and who might be doing things wrong.
If you can agree together as a couple on the principle of what you want, then you can go decide who's the best person to accomplish it or how you share those responsibilities. I think couples really to want to be together and stay together, but you've got to take all of that negative charge out of it, so you can look at what is, and then make agreements together on how to improve it.
Jacquie: And that's the really the best starting point for you and your partner or your spouse, to get on the same page when it comes to money.
Jenifer: Absolutely. I think, again, principle number one is that you agree that, as a couple, you stand for being happily together over everything else. That that matters to you most. And that number two, you will go about making things right financially, without making each other wrong in the process.
Caroline: Well, Jenifer, thank you so much for joining us with this information. It's always great news to hear that you can find a solution, right?
Jenifer: You certainly can.
Caroline: And if you want more information on financial planning or investing, you can visit our website at familymattersradio.com.
Announcer: Your Worth has been brought to you by Genworth Financial. Visit them at Genworth.com.