school notes

The Homework Crunch - Keeping Your Family Together When Homework is Driving You All Insane
By: Sheila Wray Gregoire

I've been conducting an informal poll with the thirtysomethings I run into lately, asking, "when you were in grade school, did your parents help you with homework?"  I have yet to hear anyone answer in the affirmative.  I don't remember even having homework before high school, except for special projects. We were expected to get our work done in class.


Schools Download Work onto Parents

And yet, all the parents I talk to says that homework takes up a ton of everyone's time.  My sister-in-law's biggest beef is that the kids aren't taught the material before it arrives home.  Recently her second grade daughter was given a project on buoyancy, but the teacher hadn't spent time going over what makes things float, nor had she given the kids any clue how they were supposed to conduct this experiment.  That was for the parents to figure out.

A neighbor of mine had a horrible time last year when her daughter was in grade 6 and struggling through her math homework.  My friend went over it with her until her daughter could arrive at the right answers, but the next time my friend visited the school, the teacher reprimanded her.  "You're teaching her wrong," she was told.  "You have to let me teach her."  My neighbour let fly a few well-chosen words about how if the teacher had been teaching her in the first place this wouldn't have happened, but I don't think her experience is unique.  Many kids simply aren't learning in school.


Schools Can't Teach Effectively Anymore

Part of this certainly must be because family life has become more chaotic.  It's very hard to teach even a small class of 21 if you have two or three behavior problem kids in it.  Another reason may be that they're trying to take on too many things during the school day.  When I was a child, we were never taught conflict resolution or health and safety or touchy-feely things. It wasn't as necessary, so we
were just taught math and spelling.  And we learned it, too.


Don't Let Homework Steal Family Time

Studies seem to show that homework doesn't have an appreciable effect on children's grades in the elementary years, and excessive homework may even poison the school experience.  But homework seems to be here to stay.

This year, many children will have a tremendous homework burden.  As parents, let's talk to the teacher and find out what is really necessary.  If your children understand the material, for instance, perhaps completing worksheets is a waste of time.

If they don't comprehend the material, or if they have projects, parents will have to help them with time management.  But resist the urge to tell them they can't do anything fun until they have their homework done!  Children often need downtime after school.

Instead, stress fun in your family as an antidote to homework.  After all, it will be easier for all children to complete homework if they know they have some fun times coming, too.  So schedule those family game nights.  Go for walks together as a family, or go to the gym, or go skiing.  Do a hobby together.

And then, after you've had fun, take an hour together and work in the same room.  They can do homework, and you can pay the bills, catch up on email, or do work from the office.  At least, then,
you're still together, and homework doesn't steal your valuable family time!


If you want an easy way to plan these family times, I offer FREE downloadable household organization charts, including schedules, kids' chore sheets, organization checklists, and more!

Sheila Wray Gregoire is the author of four books, including To Love, Honor and Vacuum: When you feel more like a maid than a wife and a mother. She blogs at tolovehonorandvacuum.blogspot.com.